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Religion
The citizens of Gariston enjoy complete religious
freedom. As Europeans, Garistians believe in Christianity and we can say that
Gariston is a country with a Christian mosaic in it! Greeks are mostly Orthodox,
English are Protestants and French are Catholics! The
Church
of Seventh-Day Adventists and the Apostolic Pentecostal Church
of the Seventh-Day are gaining power among the believers, by virtue of the adoption of Saturday as the
Lord’s Day by the Garistian people.The Church
of Gariston, which has temples all over the country comprises
all these churches within its fold.
The Ku-Klux-Klan
plays an important role in Garistian religious life. Because of the black people
who live in the village of Ektrom which
lies under the town of Ville BC, the people of Ville
BC created a KKK church to show their opposition against the blacks. Soon KKK became the most important aspect of Ville
BC’s life and also developed a political aspect. A Political Party of the KKK has been created and receives the total of votes in the town! Ektrom people number 9.023 souls (0.01%).
But there are also other
beliefs in Gariston. Two towns, Isoudre and Enzer are inhabited by Jews
and Balaldig town by Pagans! They are people from the Territory of Apollonia,
who believe in the Greek god Apollo.
Two local pagano-christian
religions exist, Mirrorists and Visionaries.
Their total number is approximately 700.000 people.
RELIGIOUS CULTS OF GARISTON
The Grand Lodge of Gariston (G.L.G.)
Masons are few in Gariston. The Grand Master of the Order is his the Tyrant President Nikos Papias himself with
a number of his close friends and members of the government.
Ku-Klux-Klan (K.K.K)
The “Invisible Supreme
Glorious Phallusious Empire of the Grand Brave Knights of the Ku-Klux-Klan (I.S.G.P.E.G.B.K.O.K.K.K) has followers only in
Ville BC but their numbers are sufficient to elect senators to Congress. Their
leader is Nathan Urg, who’s also the Mayor of Ville BC.
Christian Temple
of Visionaries (C.T.O.V)
The followers of this cult,
obsessed with the cosmic possibilities inherent in the Universe and engaged in a ceaseless struggle to attain this forces,
cut their own heads off with long sharp curved blades every time they hear Fate’s
Warnings’ “Kyrie Eleison” in a sacred ceremony. When they
are headless, two antennae bearing eyes and a moving set of jaws appear on the throat until the head is duly reattached to
its rightful position.
The Church of Mirrorists (C.O.M)
These sad people are in the
habit of looking at their own reflections in the multiple mirrors in their Cathedrals!
Believing that man becomes god when he sees his reflection, they start screaming their heads off (but not literally
like the Visionaries!). After this ecstatic climax, they end their ceremony by
chanting familiar hymns, as they consider themselves faithful Christians.
The Order of Rare Vinyl Records (ORVR)
These Knights in the service
of Socrates Alatsatos are constantly on the lookout for rare vinyl records to satisfy the insatiable thirst for vinyl of their
Master (Tetramegistros) which refuses to be quenched.
ORDERS NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE
The Order Of Violet (O.O.V)
Brought recently to Gariston
by its creator who suffered a severe beating at the hands of the populace of Ville BC which he had earlier unsuspectingly
referred as “the good people of Ville BC”, this dangerous cult (see “Yz Lurb” page) was outlawed and has no followers.
The Children Of the Corn (C.O.C)
This cult met its demise
when its illustrious leader, Eezekiel, became disillusioned with the man he had worshipping for years, discovering that he
was professor Wobble (He Who Walks Behind the Rows). Many other members were
arrested and condemned to exile when it was discovered they had killed a number of tourists who had wandered in the corn fields.
The Religious Organisations in Gariston
We see here a table of religious organisations in Gariston.
Christianity is the biggest religion in the whole counrty and there is a Ku-Klux-Klan town (Ville BC), two jewish towns (Enzer,
Isoudre) and a pagan town (Balaldig). There are also a lot of local religions believers, as the Mirrorists and the Visionaries,
who are spreaded all over the country' s forests (as their belief is of pagan type, but with several christian elements).
The religions in numbers: |
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(Seventh-Day Adventists, Pentecostals, Catholics, Greek Orthodox) |
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Local Garistian Religions |
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(Mirrorists,
Visionaries) |
Education
The Garistian Education Ministry (GEM) controls the
education system in the country and takes care of the learning level of the children.
Studies are not easy in Gariston. There are many examinations by the teachers
and the professors and pupils are obliged to learn soon and well.
In every city there is a School Commission (SC) with
the participation of parents, which searches for better ways of education. Ideas are discussed and the committee of
professors takes the final decisions in collaboration with the Minister of Education.
Students are also welcome to express their opinion. Their recommendations are discussed too and when they are
remarkable, awards follow. The Commission has 17 members in total, from
which 7 are professors, 3 teachers, 4 parents and 3 students. It’s responsible for the economic condition of the school
and the matters of excursions and manifestations.
Every school has a Parents Council (PC) which operates
in collaboration with teachers. PC controls the progress of the children and helps the weakest students. At the end of
each term students have to pass the tests and PCs meet with the teachers to discuss their possibilities and their capacities
for their future studies.
Education levels
There are six levels of education
in Gariston:
The first level is the Luub Zurg (LZ)
(in Garistian), the Kindergarten or the Infant School phase, which teaches the babies to walk, to talk and to play. It begins at the age of 2 and lasts until the age of 5.
The Dimoticup (DM), the primary school
phase, takes control from the age of 6 to the age of 12 and teaches the kid the basic knowledge in history, mathematics, music,
philosophy, geography, and two more languages (Greek and English), in an Ancient Greek school standard, with dialogue and
practice. The teachers observe the tendencies of the child and help it to make
progress in it.
The Gymnasiuumm (GY), the middle school
phase, teaches the children to develop their talents and to do the better they can.
They teach them and the third language (English) and the basic origins of faith and religion. The studies start at the age of 13 and end at the age of 15.
The Lykiussuumm (LY), the Lycée phase, begins at the age of 16 and ends in 19 with the Basic Studies Diplome (BSD). The students learn the values of life, they repeat all the subject from Gymnasiuumm, they perfect all their
four languages and start to prepare for the final destination: The Collegiuumm.
The Collegiuumm (CO) has three branches:
Collegiuumm Musicuumm: Teaches
students the good arts and the poetry of life.
Collegiuumm Mathimaticuumm: Teaches
physics, chemistry, business, mathematics and economic sciences.
Collegiuumm Technicuumm: Teaches
the students to work as plumbers, electricians, builders, etc.
Music In Gariston
Few things are as important
to the average Garistian as music. Throughout Gariston, with few exceptions,
the music that is far and away the first preference of the citizens is Progressive Rock, especially that of the seventies. As a matter of fact, many groups have moved from Europe to Gariston, where they are appreciated,
in order to get away from the garbage of pop, rap, dance, R&B and reggae, that have created a virtual swamp of sissy music. Christian Vander of Magma stated: “We had to get as far away as possible from
this swamp, this cornucopia of vile stupidity, this plethora of ridiculous clowns calling themselves musicians that have created
an array of hideous, grotesque, disgusting, slimy sleaze”. To anyone with
half a brain it is known that progressive rock is a complex, sophisticated, elegant, inspired and versatile form of music
that was pioneered in 1969-1970 and started fading in the late 70s when people’s minds were too narrow to enjoy and
appreciate this superb music. In Europe itself,
this music was raised from its ashes, like phoenix, some 15 years ago.
Of course, Ville BC could
be nothing else but an exception to the rule as people there listen exclusively to their brand of metal which they affectionately
call “Brutal Metal”, comprising bands such as Mentors, Carnivore, Tankard, Wehrmacht, Voivod (except the psychedelic/progressive
period!), Virus, GG Allin, etc.
Others exceptions are
Monaco Royal where people listen to classical and medieval music and Balaldig where the popular music is celtic folk.
In the Southern
Islands people tend to listen to exotic, reggae or calypso music.
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